Monday, September 8, 2014

The Straw



These past few months we have been faithfully plugging away on our home-study and working on our profile book. I am getting more and more excited about adopting.

Us. Actually. Adopting.

I was sharing my growing excitement yesterday with a friend. It feels good to have flutters of hope throughout the day. It also feels scary. Scary because I'm fearful that there will be another roadblock around the corner. 

Today we hit the roadblock. Our home visit (the last thing needed in our home-study) was supposed to be two weeks from today. It now has to be rescheduled for two weeks later because of a scheduling conflict. 

In my head I totally understand. Two more weeks. Not a big deal, right? Especially when we've already been waiting five years to become parents. This is just part of life.

Today those extra two weeks are like the straw that broke the camel's back.

I have been counting down the days to completing our home-study since we first met with our agency last April. We hoped to start the home-study in May and finish it in June. Now it is September. There are so many things we still need to do that are contingent on our home-study being complete. Paperwork we need to get done and a fee that will increase as of October 1st. Now we will be paying the higher fee and be limited in the extra paperwork we can work on.

I know God will bring good out of this, but I'm sick of roadblocks. I'm tired of waiting. I'm worn out from having to fight so hard to become parents.


Thank goodness for the closing prayer from the Magnificat this morning:

"O God of justice and of love, You care for Your people in every time and place, despite our tendency to stray from you in our foolishness. Keep us in your care from morning until evening, that we may come to rest safely in the shadow of Your all-powerful wings."

19 comments:

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    1. Thank u!!! I know shouldnt get so worked up by something so little. Ugh.

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  2. That's frustrating! It's crazy how those little things become such a big deal, especially as you're getting soooo close to the end of the home study! It doesn't sound fair if they charge you the increased fee if they postponed the next step - could you ask them to reconsider that? Praying for lots and lots of patience!!

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  3. Roadblocks are tough and could you ask the agency to waive the higher fee rate since you have already started the home study? C'mon...that just does not sound right to me either. We hit a few roadblocks on our journey as well but in the end...it did work out. Now we just wait...and wait...and wait some more. Praying for you as you continue on this journey.

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    1. It sounds like we can pay the lower fee. waiting is still hard though, prayers for you and your wait too.

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  4. That is so frustrating! The second part of that Bible verse popped into my head this morning as I was lying in bed, struggling to get up. You just hit that point where it is so hard, and you are so tired. I hope that this time flies by!

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  5. Prayers for you guys! I'm so sorry about this road block. :(

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  6. Ugh, you described the feeling so well--like one thing after another goes wrong until you just snap! I am so sorry you're feeling that way, but I'm confident that it means GREAT things are just around the corner :) Prayers!

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  7. I would've freaked out too. Praying for you!

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  8. Ugh, two weeks can mean so much! Adoption is another practice in patience, to put it one way. I'm sorry it's been so tough. Here's praying you have patience!

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    1. Patience is definitely what i need to grow in, thanks for the prayers.

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  9. So so frustrating :(. Many prayers coming your way!

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  10. Praying for a heap of extra graces and blessings to make up for that back-breaking straw! ❤

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  11. MBB, sending you my love. So sorry, hon. So, so hard.

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  12. When you've been waiting so long for something you want so much, every minute is a long time and 2 weeks is an eternity! Praying your 2 weeks is fruitful at least!

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  13. UGH!!! Hurry up and wait. :-( I hate it when other people's calendars and urgency don't line up with our own. Praying for you that this two weeks sails by and that darn home study can finally be done!! <3

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