We are back on the road to adoption!
We met with a new agency and explained our background and situation (Last summer we had started a home-study, but had to pause our efforts unexpectedly in fall). The new agency agreed to work with us and everything seems very positive, despite some extra steps. We are filling out paperwork (again) and our sweet references are completing reference forms again (thank you so much!).
It feels crazy and nerve-wracking to attempt adoption again. Envisioning Mike as a daddy makes me so excited. It keeps me motivated to plow through all this paperwork.
Love our new agency! The first agency took a "bare bones" approach and didn't really get to know us. Their forms looked like they had been photocopied from the 1980s. The paperwork from the new agency is more involved and in-depth. I appreciate their attention and thoroughness.
We went to an "Adoption 101" class a few weeks ago. It was so helpful to learn more about the process, and hear anecdotes from those who have adopted.
One thing we learned is that adoption involves loss experienced by three parties: 1. The birthparents, 2. The adopted child, and 3. The adoptive parents.
In choosing to place their child for adoption, birthparents lose the opportunity to raise their child. This is a HUGE sacrifice for a parent to make, and one that often leaves a permanent hole in their hearts.
Adopted children typically experience a sense of loss knowing that their birthparents weren't able to parent them. They need to come to terms with this in their own way, and often go through a period of grieving the loss of their birthparents.
Adoptive parents often come to adoption from the loss and pain they experienced during infertility (like us). As excited as we are to adopt, we have experienced a real loss in not being able to conceive.
While it breaks my heart to think of the loss and pain experienced by those involved in adoption, I am glad to at least be aware of it. I'm also glad that open adoption is more common. I never want to minimize the feelings of loss that our adopted son or daughter may experience, and I always want to honor the sacrifice that their birthparents made. I think it's important to acknowledge these losses in order to embrace the real beauty (and sorrow) that surrounds adoption.
If you know us IRL, please don't share our adoption efforts with others quite yet. We plan to be more public once our home-study is approved. Please stay on the lookout for any birthmother's considering adoption...our home-study process can speed up if needed. :)
Thanks for stopping by!