Friday, April 18, 2014

Learning to Carry My Cross

I'm not proud to say it, but I've been in a funk the last two weeks. I've been jealous, feeling sorry for myself, and giving in to negative thinking.

My hubby has been putting up with a lot from me and been extra sweet, but I've still been "off". Midweek I got it all out, and just vented about life. It felt good to talk about everything swirling around in my little head, even though it wasn't pretty.

I also came across these reflections from "In Conversation With God Vol 2, Holy Week: Wednesday" on three different ways of carrying our cross:


One - Carrying our cross furiously or sullenly
"Today, too, the cross can be carried in different ways. There is the cross carried furiously or sullenly, in a rage; man writhes and squirms, filled with hate, or at least, with a deep and burning resentment. It is a cross without meaning and without any explanation, useless; such a cross may even separate one from God. It is the cross of those in this world who seek comfort and material well-being, who will put up with neither suffering nor setbacks, for they have no wish to understand the supernatural meaning of pain. It is a cross which does not redeem. It is the cross carried by one of the thieves."

Two - Carrying our cross with resignation and acceptance
"On the road to Calvary is a second cross, carried this time with resignation, perhaps even with some dignity, with an acceptance of the situation simply because there is no alternative to it. This is the one carried by the other thief. Little by little he realizes that close by him is the sovereign figure of Christ, who will radically change the final moments of his life on earth, and for eternity; he will be the one converted into the good thief."

Three - Carrying our cross with love and in reparation
"Jesus embraces the saving wood and teaches us how we ought to carry our own cross: with love, co-redeeming all souls with him, making reparation at the same time for our own sins. Our Lord has conferred on human suffering a deep meaning. Being able, as he was, to redeem us in a multitude of ways, he chose to do so through suffering, for greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (John 15:13)."

These reflections challenged me to take a good look at the way I carry my cross. I'm embarrassed to say that lately I've been carrying my cross more via the first way, rather than the third. Thankfully Jesus is merciful and patient.

17 comments:

  1. Wowzers. Very convicting. My general stance is to carry the cross furiously and to let God know how ticked I am at all times. EEEP! I really really want to carry it with love and reparation...but how? Doesn't He have to give me grace to even do that? I feel so stuck, as I am sure so many of us do at times. Thank you for sharing this! Perfect reflection today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree we do need grace to even have a chance in carrying our cross like Jesus does. Even with grace, I feel like I fail so often. God bless you this week!

      Delete
  2. I have the whole "In Conversation with God" series but lost the Lent one. I am so glad you shared this! It is a beautiful reminder. I have to admit I get pretty confused with all of this sometimes. I went through a time where I felt like I was carrying the cross well but when I look back I have to wonder if I wasn't just avoiding feeling all the pain. It hards to know what the balance of actually feeling the anger and the pain while still hoping and looking toward Christ actually looks like. I mean I know we have thousands of examples but still:-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, that is a tough balance to find, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster so often in my ability and willingness to carry my cross.

      Delete
  3. I agree, it is very convicting to read this. Perspective is everything... just wish it was easier to convince the heart.. Sending you hugs from afar! Really hope that your miracle is coming soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much!!! Hope you had a nice Easter!

      Delete
  4. Really powerful quotes - thank you for sharing! And I'm glad you were able to get things off your chest.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know I don't always carry my cross the way God would want me too. I'm humbled. Great reflection post!

    ReplyDelete
  6. After an Easter Sunday spent carrying my cross in an angry, resentful way, I needed to read this today. Thank-you for this reflection.
    Many prayers for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand, believe me! Hope you have a good week!

      Delete
  7. Thanks for this. As all of the other ladies have already commented, it is perfectly timed and a great reminder. Blessings :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for sharing this! Such a powerful reflection!! I hope you're feeling better and getting out of that funk. It hurts my heart to hear you've been down. Happy Easter, friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, after I vented I felt MUCH better and enjoyed Easter! Hope you had a lovely Easter!

      Delete
  9. hugs. and thanks for sharing...i needed to read that too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you had a nice Easter! Saw the cute haircut pics.

      Delete
  10. What is it with this Easter? It was a tough one for me, too, and I love reading this tonight, because it's something that I need to work on as well. He did show us how to carry our cross with love, but He also fell. No, His wasn't sin, but He nonetheless understands falling. He also shows us to get back up. I need to try to remember that instead of getting so stuck in where I am in the dirt!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right!!! it's good to remember that Jesus also fell. I'm glad you mentioned that, I need to be mindful that Jesus does show us how to get back up. Thank goodness for his example.

      Delete