Sunday, October 13, 2013

Worn

This has been a rough month so far. Mostly because we found out that adoption is on hold. We hope to try again in a year or two. Right now feeling heartbroken and devastated.

The song "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North keeps coming to me. It is one of my favorites, probably because the lyrics so often echo the cry of my heart in this journey of infertility and adoption. Whatever the cross, I'm sure most everyone has had a time when they've felt "worn."


I’m tired, I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes
To keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left


Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won’t let up

And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

My prayers are wearing thin
Yeah, I’m worn
Even before the day begins
Yeah, I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn

So, heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart
That’s frail and torn

I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

Give it a listen on YouTube. And, since Tenth Avenue North is one of my favorite bands, take the time to listen By Your Side. In this song, God is speaking to us, his children. It has comforted me in some very difficult times.


"Jesus, let us see redemption win! Help us cling to you, and our hope for Heaven."

17 comments:

  1. I'm so, so sorry. Keeping you both in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Mary Beth and Mike, First time commenter, but I've been reading for a while. I'm very sorry to hear this news and I'm lifting you up in prayer. It seems like it wasn't your choice to put adoption on hold. Was there a problem with your agency or home study? There are definitely other agencies that are looking for racially open couples. Let me know if you need a referral.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for reading! ...and for your prayers. They mean a lot. It is a long-story, we're hoping to try again in a few years (p.s. I sent you an email). :-)

      Delete
  3. I'm feeling "worn" right along with you right now dear friend. I wish I could give you a big hug and we could have a long afternoon chat over tea (or maybe wine?).

    "Let me see redemption end. Let me know the struggle ends." praying this prayer right along with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rebecca, soooooo wish we could get together too!!! (I say wine and football). I wish this journey didn't have to be so wearing on both of us. *Sigh*. Prayers for you. Thanks for being there.

      Delete
  4. Praying for y'all! It is so hard when you have to put plans to build your family on hold. Praying that God gives you much grace right now!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you soooooo much! In a way this "hold" feels different/harder than stopping IF treatment because it is more of a forced surrender. I guess it's another opportunity for abandonement to God. Just wish I was better at it. :-)

      Delete
  5. We love you both! Hang in there! We are sending you some giant hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks sooooo much! Will miss not having you guys nearby. Your prayers mean so much.

      Delete
  6. Thinking of you and praying for you often. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm so sorry! Of course I'm curious to know what happened, but I'm sure it's very personal. Regardless, I'm so sorry - it's such a hard journey. So very hard. Some days are just awful, those feeling "worn" days - you put it perfectly. Praying that Jesus holds you close in your distress!

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks SO much for your prayers!! It IS hard to understand, especially when things happenthat are outside of our control. Just praying for the grace of surrender and acceptance.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I continue to pray for you both every day! Adoption is so close to my heart that I know you won't be far from my thoughts. God is faithful and miraculous. I will pray for St. Joseph's intercession in your lives and adoption. (((hugs)))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you soooooooooo much! That means the world! We really hope and pray God opens up a way for us to adopt sooner, rather than later.

      Delete