Friday, October 18, 2013

Running Therapy

I started training for my first half-marathon once we were done with infertility (IF) treatment.

It's something I've always wanted to do, but never wanted to jeopardize our chances of conception by my running.

After four years of infertility, it felt good to hit the pavement and make running a priority. Mike got me an ipod and showed me how to use it (let's just say spending time figuring out technology is not my favorite). What a difference running to music makes!

Race day was great! Despite forecast of rain, the day was sunny and perfectly cool. Fall colors were beautiful along the trail. It was a good run, despite a slight sore knee halfway through.



I can't believe I did it. So excited!



It was a great day, but the ache of infertility and our paused adoption efforts was still there. Does it every go away??? ...I don't know.

I decided to watch a documentary on marathons to inspire myself. One of the runners profiled had been adopted. She was running to raise money for the agency that facilitated her adoption. Beautiful. In the program she visited the adoption agency and shared about her donation. As inspiring as the story was, I couldn't stop the tears.

Also along the half-marathon course there were tons of cute kiddos cheering on their mom or dad. I couldn't help but remember two years ago (two years into our IF journey at the time) when I ran a race in downtown Chicago. After seeing so many adorable little ones with their signs, I promptly asked Mike if he would bring our kids to cheer me on someday. Of course he agreed.

Yet, here we are, two years later, still with no children. Not sure when we ever will.

I hate it when reminders of IF, or sadness over adoption, creep in unexpectedly...trying to cloud a happy day. Even though they tried to rain on my parade, and succeeded for a short while, I didn't let them stay. The race was mostly a lot of fun, and I enjoyed the beautiful day. Mike was also a great cheerleader!

12 comments:

  1. Congrats on the race!!! I'm so impressed by runners :)

    I know exactly what you mean about IF creeping into every area of life. Ugh. I like to think of Mary's pierced heart and pray "lord help me bear this."

    Good luck with your next race whenever that is!

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    1. That's a beauutiful image to remember. I feel like I go thru phases in asking for Mary's help. Whenever I do remember to reflect on her life and all the difficulties she experienced in loving Jesus, I always feel comforted and inspired.

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  2. Great job! ...There is a small sense of relief when you can have part of your life back after IF treatments. We are felling that ourselves at this time until the next chapter of life.

    Hang in there during all of this. I wish we were still close enough for coffee dates, but you will be in our hearts.

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    1. Thanks so much. It is such a burden not have to do blood draws, injections, pills (spaced out correctly), etc!!!! Its amazing how much lighter we feel.

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  3. Congrats on running and finishing the race!! I'm so impressed!!
    I'm continuing to pray for your family to grow!

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  4. The world is filled with so many little stings when we're struggling with such huge disappointments. I'm glad that you took advantage of IF to take on such a big commitment. I love that picture of you! You look so healthy and strong.

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    1. It can be hard, because those "stings" come out of the blue. The race and training was very therapeutic. Thank you!

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  5. so proud of you. beautiful post!

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  6. Congratulations! All that running... that's a huge accomplishment. I have a feeling the sting of IF will never go away, even once we have children. I think finding joy in the in-betweens is the most important thing we can do right now. And it looks like running that half-marathon was one of those joys, even with all those little faces looking on and reminding you of what's missing.

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    1. I agree, I think it will always be there to a certain extent. Now that we are officially done with treatment, we are even more committed to enjoying each moment and appreciating all the little joys God sends our way.

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